What is crazy to me
is that everything can be its opposite
in every moment.
And it all coexists-
all those variants
alongside each other
in an extraordinary array.
What I feel inside
is both white and black
like each instant contains
all the shades of gray between the two.
And there I am
somehow both within
and outside
this unfathomable array.
In my hands I hold choice
both burden and blessing
at any given moment.
When I feel weak
it is my strength hiding
and it is always there
just, forgotten..often.
And I can't even speak of it
as my strength.
I have nothing of my own.
If I can't bring it with me
at will into a dream
then it is not mine.
If it can't accompany me
where I go when my body sleeps
but consciousness doesn't
I have no claim to it.
All I have are these thoughts and broken words
these daily acts and breathless nights.
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